We’re at the end of July, y’all! Oh, I just feel like I’m not experiencing summer ENOUGH this year. Hopefully we can cram some more summer fun into these last few weeks before school starts back up again.

Highlights of last week:

• There’s been a lot of crafty progress made over the last week, including finishing up the knitted unicorn I’ve been working on for a while.
• Ren and I are still showing up for our workout sessions. This last week’s sessions were rough, man. Owie.
• We finally had our family portraits done! I think the last time we did portraits was nine years ago, so it was very overdue. Bonus: We took the photos at a blueberry patch and we got to pick some blueberries to bring home, too.

Things I Wished Had Gone Better:

• I had Ren drive once last week, and Rachel did zero driving. I have to make these practice drives happen! I really don’t like doing them because they raise my anxiety like nothing else.
• I’d say we needed to get out more, but we got out a lot for appointments and errands and stuff. Nothing fun. Hopefully we can do something fun in this next week.

The Weather Forecast:

Definite summer weather, a little on the warm side for my personal tastes, but nothing crazy like many others are dealing with at the moment. I’ll just be thankful for the sunshine and leave it at that.

As I Look Outside My Window:

Such a dry backyard. Michael applied the weedwhacker to overgrown parts of the garden, so it looks nicer out there now. Will I actually get to doing anything with it? I don’t know. But there’s some nice garden-y things happening in other parts of the yard:

The four basil plants are nice and healthy and we’ve been enjoying the lovely flavor that fresh basil gives to our meals.

There are three tomatoes ripening on the tomato plant at the back of the house. I’m literally the only person who is excited about this as no one else in our family even likes tomatoes. However, Renaissance makes incredible bruschetta, so I make sure to have fresh basil and tomatoes growing so we can enjoy that beautiful dish a couple of times throughout the later part of the summer.

I always have a random cherry tomato bush start growing in the gravel along the back of the house, and this year’s plant has green tomatoes now! I’m excited to have them ripen!

I don’t have a picture of the front of the house because it looks just the same as always, but I did want to mention that the baby birds have flown the nest. I’m surprised they left so soon. I’m not sure they were even hatched for a full week before they all flew away. Or maybe they were hatched and we weren’t aware of it for a few days/weeks? Or maybe they all got eaten by cats during their first day of flying lessons? We did see them perching in the bushes along the front porch, and one of them even tried to return to the nest when we (accidentally) startled it, but its aim was bad and it faceplanted into the porch eaves and fell back down into the bushes below. We checked on him and he was alright, but I don’t know if they could make it back to the nest at all. We haven’t seen any of them since that day, so we’re hoping they’re fine.

Right Now I Am:

Writing up this post before going to bed Sunday night because I won’t have time to work on it in the morning. Trying to plan out the next week.

Thinking and Pondering:

• What can I cut from my to-do list?
• What needs to be done for Ren’s birthday?
• What am I going to knit next? Options include a teddy bear, or Halloween decorations, or a hat I need to design first.
• What can we do for fun this week?
• Do I want to can up some jams this year?

Listening to:

The creak of the upstairs floor as people walk around. A kid getting a drink of water from the fridge. The hum of the fans and air conditioner. Summer evening sounds.

How Am I Feeling:

Behind on a lot of things. Michael was really tired this last week, going to bed early almost every night, which was weird. I got hit with the same feeling yesterday afternoon, so I’m dragging and worried that the tiredness will follow me through the upcoming week. Working out is feeling better, despite how sore we can be after particularly intense workouts, so that’s a positive development. And I was able to connect with friends via text this last week and that helped to alleviate some of the loneliness I was suffering from the week before. The loneliness will take care of its self once school and PTSA stuff starts back up again, no worries.

On My Reading Pile:

Hee hee hee, lots of Christmas crafting books in honor of Christmas in July last week. And some knitting and crochet books in case I want to add some projects to my gift list.

On My TV This Week:

Not much. Probably a random movie if I’m feeling tired. I’m in a cottagecore mood, so maybe some Jane Austen-y things.

On the Menu:

Saturday: Steak Quesadillas
Sunday: Super Nachos
Monday: Pineapple Bacon Sausages, Corn & Zucchini Soup
Tuesday: Picadillo Tostadas, Veggie Slaw
Wednesday: Gyros, Tzatziki Cucumbers, Yellow Rice
Thursday: Pancakes, Bacon, Sausage, Fruit
Friday: Chicken Caprese, Caesar Salad, Pasta

Looking Around the House:

Still putting Rachel’s room back together, but it’s coming along.

To-Do List This Week:

• Emily dentist appointment
• YW Camp preparations
• Send last of graduation thank-you cards
• Driving practice (Blargh)

Devotional:

My word for this last week was STRENGTH, and my readings about it mentioned a lot that strength was born out of suffering, which really bothered me because I don’t like it when people dismiss suffering by saying it created favorable outcomes. It feels like that reasoning is used to downplay the extent of the suffering and pain, and excuses the actions of the perpetrator a little bit, and I’m never ok with that. So I thought about it a lot because I know that, in regards to building muscle, you do need to damage the thing that needs to become stronger so that it can heal into a stronger version of itself. And as I sat with that, I decided that it was healing that created strength, not the suffering. And the healing is all within the realm of the victim/self. Perhaps strength is the Universe’s reward for getting through difficulties? But I never want an abuser to be able to say, “Because of the pain I caused you, you’re a stronger person,” and feel good about themselves.

Also, healing takes time, especially if the injury was extensive. We live in a society that expects instantaneous healing and strength, despite nature not working that way at all…and that impatience with our own healing and the healing timelines of others only hurts us. Strength requires so much patience.

I also think there’s two types of strength. The first one that I mentioned, which is a healing-after-injury kind of strength. I like to also call it “glue strength,” because it’s the strength that comes from putting something back together after it’s broken. The other type of strength is the preventative type: When you apply layers of protection or reinforcement to something to make it strong enough to withstand something. I decided to call it “insulating strength.” I think this is the best sort of strength to strive for, as it doesn’t require injury or pain to begin the process. We add strength to our spirits when we consume uplifting media, surround ourselves with edifying people, practice looking on the bright side and questioning the veracity of the thoughts in our heads. We insulate and strengthen our children with our love, kind words, protective measures, and efforts to make our homes welcoming and comforting. Insulating strength helps us withstand the pain and injury that life throws at us, and can sometimes makes it so that pain and suffering doesn’t even damage anything, if the insulation is thick enough.

Now both strengths have their extremes as well—extremes that end up causing weakness. If you insulate your children to the extreme and never let them experience hardship or difficulties, they won’t develop the necessary strength to withstand the rigors of daily living. (Oh my gosh, I saw a lot of this while student teaching.) And glue strength can only fix so much—there are injuries that are too extensive to heal.

Also, glue strength requires time to allow the glue to set; if you don’t give the glue time to set and then jump back into the type of situation that caused the damage, the injury will just open up all over again. (Also, maybe stop jumping into things that injure you?) Balance is required, and once again, patience.

This upcoming week’s word is: Connection. Ooh, I’m excited to ponder this one! With the last year being completely focused on getting through my Masters degree, I disappeared from my social life completely and I’m trying to figure out how I want to connect with people, and which people, now that I’m re-entering the realms of living somewhat normally.

Linking up to Sandra’s Happy Homemaker Monday!